Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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