Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
