When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
