So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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