hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
