great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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