Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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