yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
