Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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