why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
