I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
