I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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