Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
