just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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