And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
