their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
