as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just want to make out with him forever
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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