I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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