he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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