He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
