But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I smell stomach acid.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize