I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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