Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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