i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize