i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
