He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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