So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize