Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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