The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im about as happy as oj after his trial
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
