I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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