Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
