is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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