They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my being single is dangerous.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Cover your peen. We're going out.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
