three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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