My liver just broke up with me...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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