but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
