Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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