Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
