I'm drive I can fine osifer
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
