Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There r osticjed everywhere
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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