Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
