I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
