I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
