I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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