Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
