Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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