next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
