I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
