8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
