He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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