My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
