To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
