I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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