oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
