She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
