hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
