The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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