one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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