Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
