I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
