Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
