is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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