a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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