her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
